Javier and Coles: together forever

I’m sure you have all been thinking about me over the holidays and wondering what I’ve been up to. Mostly hanging out with Coles, as usual. As you can see in the photo above, I like to inspect him as he returns to the house to make sure he hasn’t been doing anything bad by sniffing him for hints of trouble. It’s kind of like going through security at the airport, except I don’t completely rob him of his dignity.

Coles: Jungle Cat

Coles has been pretty busy since he found the lemon tree. He loves climbing up inside the tree and hiding where he can’t be seen. I personally have not mastered the art of tree climbing. In fact, I’d much rather be in the kitchen eating or sprawled out on the bed. Coles has perfected the “wild” look, he probably things it makes him more attractive to the ladies (though I don’t think Kai, our new roommate, has ‘Jungle Fever’ yet).

I hope you’ve all been having a nice New Year so far. I will be here, as usual, waiting to dole out my special brand of wise advice.

I was shocked. This “thing” was certainly not a cat. Coles joined in when he heard about what was going on in the yard:

We didn’t know what to do. I wasn’t sure if it was venomous, or if maybe it had much larger friends lurking nearby, so we didn’t get too close:

As it turns out, this animal is called a “squirrel.”

]]> http://www.javiersays.com/?feed=rss2&p=160 0 http://www.javiersays.com/?p=157 http://www.javiersays.com/?p=157#comments Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:40:28 +0000 admin http://www.javiersays.com/?p=157 I’m sure you are all wondering how I celebrated Halloween yesterday. Grandpa made us  hats, so Coles and I got to be witches. Well, man-witches:

Javier lounges around the house in his Halloween Costume

Coles was slightly less comfortable in his hat:

Coles poses in his Halloween costume

-Mable Olivia Miller

Me, with my buddy Coles relaxing in Albany

Dear M.O.M.-

Thanks for your interest in my well-being. Living with my grandparents has certainly been different. For one thing, I have a new arch-nemesis named Kai, which has allowed me to forge closer ties with Coles (see the photo above). I enjoy the quality time here because “grandpa” is retired and gets to hang out with us all the time, and “grandma” comes home and lets me outside the minute she gets home. The best part about that is that Grandma gives me treats as a reward for coming in when she calls. I always go outside when she opens the door, because I know I’ll get fed just for walking back in the door! It doesn’t get much better than that.  Somehow, I’ve managed to keep my trim figure but Coles appears to be packing on the pounds- he can’t get enough Fancy Feast.

Sometimes I miss my “parents” but it’s a nice change of pace living in the East Bay. We actually have heating here, so my paws don’t go numb while I’m sleeping any more the way they did in our unheated apartment in San Francisco. Also, I don’t have to pose for as many degrading photos.

For other cats in this situation, my advice is to milk it for all it’s worth!

Yours truly,

Javier

Fake Javier fools the camera in London

Due to my East Bay location, there was commotion in London this afternoon after the above “Javier sighting” in Golders Green. My “dad” snapped the photo above, but as this orange and white beauty turned around, it quickly became apparent that it was an impostor. While clearly an attractive cat, he clearly lacks my charm and good posture.

I’ll try to keep you posted on my activities as I enjoy my new temporary home. Right now, I’ve got my paws full destroying plants, eating Coles’ food and terrorizing the resident cat, Kai.

Nothing like a fine cabernet

Dear Javier, 

I feel inadequate every time I go out to a dinner with business associates and my colleagues start talking about wine. Everyone seems to have something to say except for me. How can I avoid making a fool out of myself the next time I find myself in this predicament? 

Sincerely, 

Wineless in Wisconsin

Dear Jason, 

First, let me say I’m thrilled that someone finally asked me another question. I thought I was going to have to rename this site “fabulous photos of Javier” or something similar. I have lots of thoughts on the subject, but since your question was short and right to the point I’ll try to do the same. 

Don’t play hard to get. That’s the oldest trick in the book, and frankly- it doesn’t work. You need to put yourself out there and let the girls know you’re interested. I find the best way to do this is to flop over on my side and roll around on my back at the first sight of a female. This is often accompanied by grunting or purring and flexing of my paws. 

Women see this and they usually melt. They start rubbing my stomach and patting my head and before you know it they’re putty in my hands (paws). I have no reason to think this will not work for you, Jason. Just be sure to look for sharp objects on the ground before you start rolling around. Oh, and it helps to be somewhat well groomed (although people seem to like touching me no matter what I look like). 

Here is all the evidence you’ll need to see that my methods are highly effective:

Yes, that’s me sitting there at the Scrabble board with the candles lit and the lights off. I observed Earth Hour on Saturday night from 8:30 to 9:30. To show solidarity with the Earth, everyone was supposed to turn their lights off for one hour. I think asking everyone to hold off on the AC for a day in the middle of the summer might have more of an impact, but who am I to rain on this parade? I had a good time, even though I kept getting 7 vowels at a time.

Sometimes, I rethink my hatred of my nemesis Coles. This weekend was one of those moments. I noticed Coles was sleeping in our shared “Cat Tent” (I know, it’s kind of degrading but I still love it). I poked my head in, and when I realized he wasn’t trying to claw my eyes out I decided it was time to make my move:

We sat there uncomfortably for a minute or two, nervously seeing who would flinch first. A catfight in a tent is not a pretty sight. Then, I decided I’d had enough and I didn’t need a confrontation… at least not at noon on the weekend:

Sitting in a cat tent with Coles is kind of like getting into an elevator with someone really crazy, as long as you get off in time everything works out just fine.

Gettin' a workout

I’ve been a busy cat since I last posted on here (see photos above and below). My “parents” got married, Coles and I made amends, and I’ve been getting lots of exercise around the house. Despite the cold temperatures of winter, I’ve managed to stay active by vigorously attacking various common household objects and amusing myself by methodically destroying anything I can find that is made out of paper. Thanks to improved camera technology at javiersays.com, my exploits have been put on display for you to enjoy.

Now that I will be posting regularly again, please submit more questions and nominees for “Cat of the Week.” I have lots of advice to give, and I’m waiting for the opportunity.

Javier goes in for the kill